Barely Balancing in 2018

Before writing this post, I looked back at the five things I had learned from 2017 (see that post here) to see if they still affected me.  Did I really learn?  Did those things carry through 2018?  This past year has proven to be one of the most challenging years of my life.  Instead of balancing in style, I felt like I was barely balancing all year long.

Five Things I Learned while I was Barely Balancing

1. “Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it” -Charles R. Swindoll

This past year, I was plagued with pain.  Toward the end of January, I started feeling pain in my right hamstring, which by March, had worsened and spread throughout the right side of my body.  My previously herniated disc shifted right and compressed a nerve causing shooting pains, numbness, and tingling from my lower back to my toes.  I had never experienced pain like this before.  It became all consuming and affected everything and everyone in my life.  As my pain grew, so did my frustration.  After seeing specialist after specialist, getting prescribed way too many medication, having numerous injections and tests done, the pain did not subside.  In fact, it only got worse.  By the end of August, I decided to undergo minor back surgery, however, only some of the symptoms subsided and I unfortunately continue to live everyday of my life in pain.  I finally got to the point where I just couldn’t keep living in misery.  I had focused so much of my attention on not getting answers and essentially let the pain and my frustration eat me alive. My reaction to a terrible situation just made it even more terrible!  I realized to just breathe and let go.  Life can always be worse.  As I learned to just breathe (literally, focus on my breath) and redirect my attention toward the beautiful things all around me, my pain became more tolerable.  I learned to manage my pain and not let it run my life.

2.  Talk about the Bad Stuff

Now, this one is a work in progress for me.  I have always known that it is important to communicate and although I am a very expressive person, I don’t always do a good job at it.  As I have grown older, I have found that when I go through hard times, I tend to shut down.  I bottle things up because I don’t want to burden others with my problems.  When I speak to my friends, I want to have pleasant conversations and laugh.  By talking about the hardships of my life, I feel like I am being a so-called, “Debbie Downer.”  (Anyone watch SNL back n the day?) I am working on (I really haven’t fully completed the lesson yet) communicating better with my friends and family.  I want to be there for them for all the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I know it’s the same for them.  They do care and do want to help.  Isn’t that what friendship is all about?  I’ve learned shutting down when times are tough only makes things worse.  It’s important to open up and talk about the bad stuff.  It will make you feel better getting it out there and the support of your loved ones helps you to get through it.

3. Time is Precious

Of course, we have been taught this one at a very young age, but sometimes it doesn’t truly click until something tragic occurs.  In October, my mother-in-law became ill.  She went to work on a Monday, was hospitalized for pneumonia on Tuesday and wasn’t released for almost two weeks.  During that stay, we found out that she was battling much more than pneumonia and we almost lost her after a biopsy had gone horribly wrong.  We are a very close family and my mother-in-law is a second mother to me and one of my best friends.  I am truly fortunate to have two amazing mothers who are the strongest women I know.  We continue to work as a family to help her fight her battle.  With that being said, this is where the whole “time is precious” finally clicked.  It took 36 years for it to click.  My family has always come first, but now we make more of an effort to spend time together.  So much of our time gets wasted doing nonsensical things. Time is precious, which is why I have learned to spend my time more wisely and with the ones I love.

4. It’s Okay to Say No

Like many others, I have always been a person who wants to do everything and see everyone whenever we can.  I have always been a bit of a social butterfly and enjoy going out and connecting with others.  I hate saying no to something.  I never want to disappoint anyone and tend to feel tremendous guilt when I say no.  Although this hasn’t changed, life has.  I have learned that it is not realistic to do it all.  Doing too much can lead to burnout and the ones that suffer in the end are the ones closest to me…my husband and my children.  This past year, I have said no to way more things than I have ever imagined.  And it was okay!  People understood.  They understood that I wanted to be there, but just couldn’t.  At the moment, it wasn’t the right choice.  Moving forward, I am not just going to automatically say no to everything, but I have learned that sometimes saying no is the better choice.

5. Don’t Neglect Your Health

Until this past year, I was the person who tried to work out every single day, even if it was a quick workout.  I was conscious about my health always working on ways to improve my diet and lifestyle.  As you read in #1, living in pain daily changed my life completely.  I let go of everything.  I let the pain take over my life and used it as an excuse to not work out and overindulge.  I blamed the doctors who couldn’t seem to figure out what was causing my pain.  You can’t live your life making excuses.  I neglected my body and neglected my health.  Although I went to the doctor more times this year than any other year of my life, I know I have not been doing MY part to maintain my health.  The simple things like drinking plenty of water and getting enough rest were neglected in 2018.  I learned that neglecting your health and making excuses only make things harder.  This neglect can even have long-term effects especially if you don’t break the pattern.  I learned that it’s important to stop making excuses and start doing what YOU can to live a healthy life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.  I truly appreciate your continuous support!  I wish you all the very best that life has to offer.  I hope you have a wonderfully happy and healthy 2019!

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